''WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE??''
6 FEBRUARY 2010
7:45 PM SATURDAY
You have conquered my dreams
You have ruled over my thoughts
You have triggered my heart beats
In your memory I am lost
You have become my hope
You have become my god
You have won my heart
And now you are my lord
I've always longed for you
And I do belong to you
Whatever I may do
My love for you is everlasting true
So would you hold my hand?
Would you always be mine?
I promise you my love _____
Will you be my Valentine???
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
''A LETTER TO THE ONE THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR ME''
'' A LETTER TO THE ONE THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR ME''
I am wondering at this very moment if you are thinking of me, if you
like me, if you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each
other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be
disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up
each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you.
I am thinking of how we'll meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I
have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I've known you all my life
but we have yet to realise that we are meant for each other? Oh how I
wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the
answers to all of my questions.
Sometimes I ask myself if I've ever really known ''LOVE''. I do not
have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often
than not, we will never really know love, what love is, until we find
that right person....and since I have not found you yet, then may be I
do not really know what love is! You just don't know how often I dream
of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this
very moment, i am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet!
Perhaps your smile or your eyes would draw me to you or may be even
how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways! I don't
know for sure but I am praying that god will help me recognize you
when the right time comes. I am thinking of all the pain that I have
gone through in the past and of how much I've cried since the day I
began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find strength in
clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me......the
life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that
you are worth all that pain and sacrifice.
After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that
they are washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not
perfect in its truest sense, but perfect..... For you ! I wonder if
you have gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you have been
hurt so many times along the journey. But my dearest one, please don't
ever give up because I am right here..... Patiently waiting for you!
I assure you that when we finally find each other, I will slowly heal
those wounds by my love.
At night, I would look out of my window and stare at the beautiful sky
hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I
utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to heavens above thinking
that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, i just
close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and you are longing
to see me as well. Its funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is
still you that i think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems
that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long
enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams, you would kiss
away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love. And this, all the
more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the
hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and
once again I am assured that you are worth the wait. And when that
time comes, every thing will fall in its place, just as I had
imagined, just as I had thought, and dreamed, just as I had believed
it would be! By then I would simply look back and smile at all that I
have gone through, inspite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of
life..... And I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!
In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dreams
and don't ever think of letting you. Believe in your heart that we
will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the
course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don't worry: don't
be afraid of getting lost, god saw to it that all the roads, no matter
which one you choose to follow, lead to me.
--
Sent from my mobile device
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
''CHRIS' DIARY '' part 2
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain wouldl go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words.
(continued from part 1)
Source : internet
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain wouldl go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words.
(continued from part 1)
Source : internet
''CHRIS' DIARY'' part 1
It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.
I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
(read part 2)
Source: internet
I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
(read part 2)
Source: internet
Monday, January 10, 2011
THE LINES WE NEVER CROSSED
''Her name is Jenny, his is Arnav. They were once in love. Their love story was just as ordinary as any other.They got introduced by their friends, went out and spent time together, got to know each other and suddenly realised that they were in 'love'. Jenny could still recall the day, it was her birthday. They had decided to meet that sunny afternoon, after all, Arnav had kept three alarms just to be sure that he woke up at midnight to wish her on her special day. She had been waiting for him for a while when surprisingly, he came out of nowhere, handed her a single red rose and whispered in her ear, "I Love you. Happy Birthday." He had given her the best gift she could ever get.
After two years of being together, their love ended. They decided to breakup thinking that things had changed and they weren't into each other as they had been before. The main reason behind this breakup, however, was that they got so involved with each other's likes and dislikes that they forgot that they were two individuals, two different souls with different priorities. In the process of finding deeper love among them, they forgot their true selves and started ignoring what their heart really wanted. As they say, life isn't like a fairy tale and there isn't always a 'happily ever after' ending. They decided to remain close friends and they both kept their promise.
A year after the breakup, I met Jenny at a bookshop and I knew at that moment that I had fallen in love with this witty, stubborn, intelligent girl. I watched her for a while, the way she crinkled her nose getting disappointed about not finding the book she was looking for.
I knew that I only had one chance and I certainly didn't want to screw it up, so I gathered all my courage to go up to her and ask her if she would like to join me for a coffee. Trust me, I am not the kind of guy who would do things like this, ask a complete stranger out. But something happened to me that day. There was a strong urge from my heart which forced me to ask her out. I didn't know anything about her; all that I knew at that moment was that she liked reading books. But I knew that it was love at first sight.
"Don't get me wrong, but would you like to go for a coffee with me?" I asked.
"You know that you are a stranger to me right?" she answered.
"Ok then, Hi! I am Keith."
She gave a brilliant smile and said, "I am Jenny. I don't know why but I accepted your invitation. Coffee, then?"
That was that! That day was the start for the many dates that followed. The more we got to know each other the more we realised how much we had in common. We liked the same kind of books, enjoyed watching the same movies, loved watching football and listened to the same kind of music. Time passed really fast. Within the blink of an eye, days changed into weeks and weeks changed into months. My love for her increased day by day and I couldn't even imagine a day without talking to her.
I grew very close to her but she didn't. I loved her tenderly but it hurt a lot to realise that I was not getting that love returned from her side. We would speak to each other but we wouldn't talk. There wouldn't be a single day when she wouldn't mention Arnav. I couldn't believe she knew so much about this guy. I knew that she still loved him and her love towards me wasn't even an aota of her love for him.
I had to let go. For months I didn't want to admit this fact but one day I had to face it and I knew that I had to set her free. It's funny, the fact that we human beings decide to fall in love and one day decide to breakup as if we have the authority to make decisions like these. Love is supposed to be something that just happens and doesn't end.
Exactly twelve months after we met, I broke up with her and I didn't even give her a reason for breaking up. She asked me many times but I knew that she would understand one day. It broke my heart to let go of the one I loved but it was more painful to know that the person I loved, loved someone else although she wouldn't admit it.
Two years have passed since we broke up and my heart still hasn't healed completely. I recall all this today because I just receive an email from Jenny. She has written:
Dear Keith,
It hurt a lot when you broke up with me and didn't even give me a reason for it. I tried hating you for this but I couldn't. I now know why you broke up. I got my answer. I am back again with Arnav. All this time I tried to hide the love I had for him. When I met you I thought you would help me heal and I would get over him but I didn't. You have been able to see straight through my soul and understand the depth of my heart. You understood the real me, which even i was unable to understand. Thank you for everything and I am sorry if I have hurt you in any way.
Love,
Jenny.
Reading the email brings tears in my eyes, tears of happiness. It's not that I don't love Jenny, I still do and I am missing her now as I have never missed her before. But I know that I will wake up one day and there will be someone else who will love me as much as I love her. When I find her, I will not have to try to be the perfect person for her; she will help me be the perfect person I can be. I know that when our eyes will meet, I will get lost in them and all my past and future will be unimportant. Only that moment with her will be important. When this happens, I will fall in love and not stumble. ''
Source: The Kathmandu Post
After two years of being together, their love ended. They decided to breakup thinking that things had changed and they weren't into each other as they had been before. The main reason behind this breakup, however, was that they got so involved with each other's likes and dislikes that they forgot that they were two individuals, two different souls with different priorities. In the process of finding deeper love among them, they forgot their true selves and started ignoring what their heart really wanted. As they say, life isn't like a fairy tale and there isn't always a 'happily ever after' ending. They decided to remain close friends and they both kept their promise.
A year after the breakup, I met Jenny at a bookshop and I knew at that moment that I had fallen in love with this witty, stubborn, intelligent girl. I watched her for a while, the way she crinkled her nose getting disappointed about not finding the book she was looking for.
I knew that I only had one chance and I certainly didn't want to screw it up, so I gathered all my courage to go up to her and ask her if she would like to join me for a coffee. Trust me, I am not the kind of guy who would do things like this, ask a complete stranger out. But something happened to me that day. There was a strong urge from my heart which forced me to ask her out. I didn't know anything about her; all that I knew at that moment was that she liked reading books. But I knew that it was love at first sight.
"Don't get me wrong, but would you like to go for a coffee with me?" I asked.
"You know that you are a stranger to me right?" she answered.
"Ok then, Hi! I am Keith."
She gave a brilliant smile and said, "I am Jenny. I don't know why but I accepted your invitation. Coffee, then?"
That was that! That day was the start for the many dates that followed. The more we got to know each other the more we realised how much we had in common. We liked the same kind of books, enjoyed watching the same movies, loved watching football and listened to the same kind of music. Time passed really fast. Within the blink of an eye, days changed into weeks and weeks changed into months. My love for her increased day by day and I couldn't even imagine a day without talking to her.
I grew very close to her but she didn't. I loved her tenderly but it hurt a lot to realise that I was not getting that love returned from her side. We would speak to each other but we wouldn't talk. There wouldn't be a single day when she wouldn't mention Arnav. I couldn't believe she knew so much about this guy. I knew that she still loved him and her love towards me wasn't even an aota of her love for him.
I had to let go. For months I didn't want to admit this fact but one day I had to face it and I knew that I had to set her free. It's funny, the fact that we human beings decide to fall in love and one day decide to breakup as if we have the authority to make decisions like these. Love is supposed to be something that just happens and doesn't end.
Exactly twelve months after we met, I broke up with her and I didn't even give her a reason for breaking up. She asked me many times but I knew that she would understand one day. It broke my heart to let go of the one I loved but it was more painful to know that the person I loved, loved someone else although she wouldn't admit it.
Two years have passed since we broke up and my heart still hasn't healed completely. I recall all this today because I just receive an email from Jenny. She has written:
Dear Keith,
It hurt a lot when you broke up with me and didn't even give me a reason for it. I tried hating you for this but I couldn't. I now know why you broke up. I got my answer. I am back again with Arnav. All this time I tried to hide the love I had for him. When I met you I thought you would help me heal and I would get over him but I didn't. You have been able to see straight through my soul and understand the depth of my heart. You understood the real me, which even i was unable to understand. Thank you for everything and I am sorry if I have hurt you in any way.
Love,
Jenny.
Reading the email brings tears in my eyes, tears of happiness. It's not that I don't love Jenny, I still do and I am missing her now as I have never missed her before. But I know that I will wake up one day and there will be someone else who will love me as much as I love her. When I find her, I will not have to try to be the perfect person for her; she will help me be the perfect person I can be. I know that when our eyes will meet, I will get lost in them and all my past and future will be unimportant. Only that moment with her will be important. When this happens, I will fall in love and not stumble. ''
Source: The Kathmandu Post
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A REASON
A REASON
16th dec 2010
7pm
As I hauled my eyes open
I realised a new day has begun
Another day had passed by
And I am pacing towards my future
A step towards the uncertainty
Or perhaps a beautiful life ahead
Like a bud is beautiful some say
More beautiful in its youth
Aroma and beauty it spreads
Then sowly it begins to fade
So sometimes I fear as I grow up
About the end I'm heading to
But then I sense the aroma of flower;
The purpose of its life
Then I realize I've a reason to live
And lots to do for the world before I leave..
16th dec 2010
7pm
As I hauled my eyes open
I realised a new day has begun
Another day had passed by
And I am pacing towards my future
A step towards the uncertainty
Or perhaps a beautiful life ahead
Like a bud is beautiful some say
More beautiful in its youth
Aroma and beauty it spreads
Then sowly it begins to fade
So sometimes I fear as I grow up
About the end I'm heading to
But then I sense the aroma of flower;
The purpose of its life
Then I realize I've a reason to live
And lots to do for the world before I leave..
Innocent me
As I was walking down the road, I heard the tires screech and just behind me a bike stopped. The guy spoke, '' can't you look behind while you are looking?''. I replied politely, ''sorry! I don't have rare mirrors.''
Moral of the story:
Moral of the story:
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